It is easy to fall in a rut when we are in a long term relationship and sometimes these habits get in the way of happy rutting, so to speak. Gay men are as susceptible to this as anyone. What do we do when our lovers are consistently too busy or too sleepy for sex, leaving with only their left hand as a source of orgasm? First off, it is important to get enough sleep.
Prioritize resting as well as other activities. One simply can be too worn out for sex, and sleepiness has a tendency to affect a man’s ability to achieve or maintain an erection or to get off. But also one has to make sure that intimacy is being prioritized in the relationship. This is true both in and out of the bedroom. Making sure that each other’s emotional needs are being met will be an important step. If arguments are going unresolved or one of the couple is stressed about something in their life and feeling unsupported by their partner, this is not likely to result in happy fucking. Beyond that one just needs to make time for this kind of thing. Set aside at least one night a week for romantic and sexual activities. Look for an opportunity to get away together for a weekend, even if it is only to a local gay bed and breakfast or just getting a hotel room for a couple nights to rediscover the spark of focusing on each other.
It might also be a time to try something new to spice up the every day sex acts and make them less routine. Many gays choose to add new fetishes to their lives, exploring BDSM or perhaps seeking a threesome. Online personals sites will offer many options for potential thirds for some group fun. Just be sure to communicate a lot before and after to protect the core relationship from upheaval.